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Marty,
Everytime my son comes home from school, he marches right up to his computer and stays on the Internet until dinner time. When I check on him he seems to be playing games, but sometimes gets defensive when I enter his room. We've talked about spending too much time online, but he insists it's a harmless activity. How can I keep better track of what he's doing? (Sheri-Lyn B. from Sarasota FL)

One thing parents should do right away is place the computer in a common room in the house (like a family room, play room or den) rather than a child's bedroom or other private area. Parents need to be able to walk by the computer while children are online, to make sure children are using the Internet responsibly. And children should understand that using the Internet is not necessarily a private activity.

If parents need to monitor the Web sites that children visit without actually being able to walk by the computer, there is software available that will track every mouse click of a specific user. Also each Web browser features a "history" file that logs online activity for up to 60 days.

Marty,
My computer came with CyberNanny, but it never seems to work right. It hinders me and my husband from surfing the net, but yet my kids get through to Web sites we wish they weren't able to get to. How can I get this thing to work correctly? (Barbara F. from Rochester NY)

CyberNanny is one of many content filtering software programs that help parents block sites deemed inappropriate for children. The challenge with these software programs, though, is most parents need to be proactive in setting them up and programming them correctly. And even when content filtering software is programmed correctly, it is never 100% protective.

One of the challenges with this type of software is being able to continually program in Web site addresses and/or keywords that parents feel are inappropriate. This can be an ongoing (sometimes daily) activity, depending on how much your children use the Internet. But if parents take the time to set it up properly, content filtering software can be one effective part of an overall plan to encourage safe and responsible use of the Internet.

Marty,
My daughter tries to use AOL and the Internet for her homework, but is always interrupted by one of her friends trying to send her a message. She says she can't help it, that they always know when she is online. Is there anyway for her to be online anonymously? (Judith C. from New Brunswick NJ)

America OnLine (AOL) features something called a "buddy list". This allows users to know when their friends are online. Unfortunately, it also can be an invasion of privacy when a user doesn't want to send or receive messages to others on the "buddy list," and may be involved in something else (like school work). There is a way to stop the interruptions. There's a setting on the "buddy list" for users to remain "invisible" or "unavailable" for messaging. Parents can help kids control interruptions by knowing how to manage a "buddy list", therefore managing online privacy.

Other commercial online services and direct Internet Service Providers do not feature a "buddy list" as part of the service, although there are software programs available to simulate a "buddy list" like the one offered by AOL.

"How to Survive the Internet With Your Kids"  by Marty W. Stewart Order 1-800-247-6553