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Parenting > Consequences

The word "discipline" literally means to educate, teach and train. Effective discipline of children is not to punish, control or manipulate. In her book, kids are worth it!, author Barbara Coloroso discusses that effective discipline does four things that punishment does not: shows children what they've done wrong, gives them ownership of the problem, helps them find ways to solve the problem, and leaves their dignity intact. And even though at the time, imposing healthy consequences may feel like punishment to a child, when done effectively, it can promote stronger relationships.

Consequences for children can be either natural or imposed by parents. When parents are put in a position to impose consequences, it can be more effective if the consequences are reasonable, simple, practical and maybe most importantly, a valuable learning tool. If it isn't all four of these, the consequence is probably not going to be effective and it could be punishment in disguise.

One of the biggest challenges facing parents is when to step in and impose consequences. If natural consequences will help a child learn then many time a parent imposing consequences is not necessary. If the situation is not life-threatening, morally threatening or unhealthy, a parent should give strong consideration as whether imposing a consequence is necessary.

When to impose consequences can be a challenge for many parents. One-on-one guidance is available. If you want to learn more about effective discipline, please contact us (+).